Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Another progress report, and question

So... very frequent with the updates out of the gate, don't know if that's likely to continue... but I guess there is much to be said about the changes in the mind and development of new habits as one increases effort along the path. First and foremost, I did manage to meditate last night... a little over 20 min (formal sitting), overall a very positive experience. Several momentary absorptions, little to no issue calming the mind, a fair amount of physical discomfort in the back (likely due to posture... but given my recent infrequency in this pursuit, it follows that my body will require some adjustment), and of course those ever present pins and needles... I can't remember a session longer than 10 min where my legs didn't fall asleep... usually takes me a few minutes to feel confident enough to stand... I suspect it's a matter of anatomy, and at worst, it's a minor annoyance, and in most cases an easy target for mindfulness following my session. There was a brightness of the mind following... so much so, that I continued watching the breath once I laid down to sleep... and continued until drowsiness took hold. Maintaining sila went very well yesterday too (at least to the point that my current level of mindfulness would catch), only one notable slip and it was quickly corrected... but still worth mentioning. It was a matter of food given to me by my father (some frozen ham), he wanted to know if I had used any, and I started to tell him recent meal that it could have been used in (some beans), but in reality I had used a hamhock... almost as soon as the fallacy was uttered, I corrected it... and while the volition wasn't to deceive, but rather to make him feel his gift was going to good use... it was still a far cry from skillful speech. I wonder, if the same question was put to me today (after meditating last night), would I still be tempted to placate with a wrong answer? I think the answer is yes, I would at least be tempted, but hopefully mindful enough that the thought wouldn't become speech. It will be interesting to see how this progresses. Of course, if my sila were put under a microscope by someone more skillful than myself, several other points for improvement could be pointed out... again with the idle chatter, maybe some degree of taking what isn't given (again with distraction at work... but I think it was much closer yesterday to the scope of breaks given by my employer than in the past... and I hope to see even more improvement in this area)... and of course, the question of intoxicants. I just recently quit smoking, and have for some time used smokeless tobacco either exclusively or in addition to smoking. Now, there is no question that it's harmful (even if it's much less harmful than cigarettes)... so in some regard, there is unwholesome kamma, but is it an intoxicant? From where I sit (read: upwards of 15 years of nicotine use)... I'd say no, it doesn't dull the mind... but seeing as it's been so long since I've been a non-user, that would certainly be relative to my experience. Google searching has yet to offer a definitive answer (though most I've seen agree with my stance) so I thought I'd poll the opinions of readers. So, what do you think? Is tobacco a violation of the 5th precept? Regardless of the answers, my intent will be to abandon it (like any addiction), but I will say that I doubt it's in the foreseeable future... reducing my intake on the other hand... I hope to begin in the next few weeks... AFTER I've let go of my craving for the cancer sticks. Big time metta! UA

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