Progress(ing away from the path)

Sitting session 5 went off without a hitch Friday night, but as the title implies... the rest of the weekend wasn't so good for progress. Sat & Sun were devoted almost entirely to chasing sense pleasures (junk food, tv shows, music, movies, surfing the web... okay porn *grins*) and for my coup de grace last night, I drank to the point of vomiting AND revisited the old smoking habit... and quite enjoyed all of it... fully knowing it was getting me no closer to my goal. It brings to mind a quote a picked up in Catholic school "Lord, Give me chastity and continence, but don't give it to me yet" - Saint Augustine. So does this mean I've abandoned the path? Hardly... I'll follow that up with another quote for wow fans... "it was merely a setback" - Kael'thas Sunstrider *grins* I will be dusting myself off and starting again. It also calls to question, is the middle way relative to one's personal experience? I mean, the Buddha surely knew a life of excess as a prince, but he began the middle path from a point of extreme asceticism... not knowing such self-torment is the middle path he walked a little too close to the "string being too tight" side for me, and did it in essence "snap" this weekend? I know "gradual" is a prevailing theme in the teachings so even if that isn't the case, maybe it was just too much too fast... or is it likely I'm lacking some fundamental element of Right View/Understanding? Regardless of the cause, difficulty is to be expected... I mean if it were easy, everyone would be enlightened, right? Maha Metta! UA